27 july 2007 00.00 AM

30 hours
30 minutes
and 30 seconds...................

Drifting mind.......fingers in dirt

Some time off
happy that I do
when I closed the door
at work today
I felt freedom

I look at my rain drowned
little back yard
and feel so sorry
that I wasn't able
to save my plants from
horrible drowning death

the only one i could save
was my sunflower
and it's growing over my head
I love to dig my fingers in dirt
and create new life in my own little way

but well I am drifting with my mind
but hey, that's fine, I have time off yay
my baby is coming home with our son.
my flowers need to be saved and new one to be planted

visit and do some fun stuff
and enjoy being together as a family
that joy is way bigger as the sunflower
brings me
but they still both bring me sunshine
just one more than the other

but I've learned
to enjoy the small
appreciate the smallest
and live the biggest

My old friend

(basic lyrics tim Mcgraw,my Old Friend)

My old friend, I recall
The times we had hanging on my wall
I wouldn't trade them for gold
Cause they laugh and they cry me
Somehow sanctify me
They're woven in the stories I have told
And tell again
My old friend,

I apologize
For the years that have passed
Since the last time you and I
Dusted off those memories
But the running and the races
The people and the places
There's always somewhere else I had to be
Time gets slim, my old friend

Don't know why,
don't know why
Don't know why,
don't know why

My old friend,
this song's for you
Cause a few simple verses
Was the least that I could do
To tell the world that you are here
Cause the love and the laughter
Will live long after
All of the sadness and the tears
We'll meet again, my old friend


My old friend, my old friend

Ghosts from the past.

For some reason
I went to that place
thought i would have
some fun and distraction

don't understand
how i could ever
be addicted to that place
that chat room

when I look back
I don't see myself
I see a lost, lonely young woman
vulnerable for any attention

today I went back
and in the beginning it was good
it was nice to talk
to some old friends
and proud as I am
I got my power tattooed
on my back

I wanted to share
so I sent the pic
to an old friend
and she made a comment
that shocked me

a ghost from the past
rushed back into my life
it upset me
like a bat swung at my head

a different life
another me,
confronted me with who I was

I called my honey
and told her what happened
she kept me save
restored what ever damage was done
told me she loves me
and slammed the door
for the ghost from the past

she is the one..............

Life List

I was watching some
old shows of Ellen
although they're never
broad casted before in
Holland so for the Dutch's
they're new shows

and she keeps talking
about making this life list
and I gave it some thought
and It's kinda fun,
to put everything you want
to do in you're life on paper

and make it visual
so here is the beginning
of my life list
someday I will complete it
and put it out here
for the world to see
but I've started it

1. Move to the USA to be with my baby and our son under one roof.

2. make 4 to 6 week a coast to coast trip with my baby and our son from California to New York city by car,RV or truck

3. Visit South Africa (and go to chimp rescue)

4. Meet Melissa Etheridge face to face

5. visit Mexico (Guatemala or/and Honduras)

6. visit Bonaire

well I guess I got some stuff to work to for a while huh?

One Love

counting days
to pass by
happy when one is over
getting closer

to be in each other arms
feel skin
kisses and soft lips
playing tongues

sparkling eyes
racing heartbeats
big smiles

joy full days
passionate nights
lots of laughter
comfortable silences

kid giggle
tickle fights
sticky fingers
pile of toys
screaming cars

my family
home, one roof
one family
one home
one love......

Live Earth Melissa Etheridge 7/7/07

Live Earth 7/7/07
wow.......

I watched it all
from 9 am kick off with the
concert in Sydney
till 3 am closing up in New York city

the act that i was waiting for
finally Melissa was getting to
the stage

and man was I in shock
she looked awesome
her eyes had the sparkle
but man! her hair, the jacket
and the purple shirt........

what was she thinking?(or Tammy)
How much I like Tammy and Melissa
I really think they made a bad judgement
on Melissa's outfit this time!

I know I shouldn't care about her appearance
I love her regardless and I do
I am just used to better I guess

her hair kinda yellowish pinkish
a purple shirt
with a army green jacket...........

like I said the sparkle was there
and the fact she gained some weight,
I love that about Melissa she looks better
If she is a bit more full

I was happy to see her
and it was worth the wait.........
but Melissa.......please don't do the purple any more......

You Rock!!! grin

07/07/07

what a date........

and so much going on.......

finally the world is getting shak'n

and humanity is awaking...........

Tossing and turning on the night train

you know how thoughts can keep you up
out of your rest, your dreams your sleep
how old memories haunt you
and keep digging your mind
when you can finally lay your head to rest?

old memories that keeps you wondering
about why? and how?
how you feel conspiracy developed around you
and you couldn't see?

how little pieces of puzzles
finally come together and you can
convince yourself that it was all planned out?

how things happens at work
a lack of respect and it keeps
bugging you into the night?
how you think things over
and trying to make a script in your head
how you can handle it?

while your body is basically screaming
for sleep
and your mind makes it toss and turn
how you finally get a peace of mind
to write it all down

and your body sighs of relief
your eyes close themselves
cuz they don't find light anymore

how your soul hurts in need
and your brain keeps pounding.
that's what is going on with me
right now.
trying to put my mind at peace
by writing down and let my fingers
hit the keys, without thinking to get it out.

my head is screaming for darkness
my body is hurting
I am going to sleep.

Second hand rose

it's funny how people get frustrated
about buying stuff over the Internet.
I, myself sell some things on the
dutch what we call marketplace

in emails i get questions as
how much is shipping?
when do i get it?
its like running an actual store
check every day for new emails or bids

and stay as anonymous as i can
not giving any phone number or address
when people are happy they're nice
when they're not they can get pretty ugly

I hide behind my computer
and laugh my ass off
when I buy something for like $10
and I sell it within two weeks for $50

people have no idea whats going on
to me its something to keep me busy
till my family gets home
other than work, sleep, eat and work some more

by now i feel like a second hand rose,
i think that's how i am going to call my
Internet store "second hand rose"