NO pictures please!!

I am writing
this article
for a gay
magazine

and I understand
a little more
of the stars now,
pushing journalists

I feel the pressure
with every question
rising
digging
deep in my privacy

trying to keep
our son and the
identity of my girl
out of it

and they want
pictures
of me and
my family
no way
I want my
privacy

just wanted
to write
and article
so people
would understand

but they keep asking
and digging
getting close
to saying
fuck this!

No article
but don't want
to let
people down
I already told
them about it

they're waiting
expecting
my article
in April
in this lesbian magazine

I feel the pressure
already
now, by just
one article
so happy
it's just for once

is it??............

© AngelZpublishing 2006

Soul Flight

It feels like
putting my soul
on a plane

She is my love
my sunshine
my warmth
my smile
my twinkle

It feels really
weird that my
soul has left

my joy is gone
with her
all that's left
is her scent

her shirt
her pillow
her sweatshirt
cold and empty

I feel her
in my heart tho
my thoughts are
filled with her
Her ocean of love
is all around me

and still I miss her
her warmth and
her soft hands
on my naked skin

at the airport
It felt like
putting my soul
on a plane

© AngelZpublishing 2006

International Women Day

It's March 8th
International day of the woman
need to celebrate
that we are women

15 years ago
I did celebrate
helped with all
cuz I believe

Women play a
crucial role in
almost every
part of human life,

be it family or society,
this special day
is meant for honoring
her capabilities
and respecting
her achievements and being.

© AngelZpublishing 2006

3 litte words.......

I love you
with everthing
I got

I love you
as a flower loves
the spring

I love you
with every beat
my heart holds

I love you
around the moon
and back

I love you
as much as there
is water in the ocean

I love you
with every tone
my voice holds

I love you

© AngelZpublishing 2006

Memory Lane.........or Memory Ave?

Sometimes
I go back to old places
places that I know
or just have a
memory of

On that kind of
places
sometimes you
walk into the same
old people

people who are
stuck in same old
habits, moves
or sayings

They try to be funny
but you've all heard
it a hundred times before
why don't they grow
move on

tell something new
find a new joke
show a new move
the old ones
are getting old
and boring

and still
sometimes
I go back to old places

© AngelZpublishing 2005

Breakfast in Bed

A burned rock hard
beagle with cream cheese

some black toast
with peanutbutter

a freezing cold glass
of Orange Juice
with ice

A blue boiled egg
and coffee with sugar
and milk

a soft tap on
my shoulder
and a proud face
of a nine year old

my girl and our son
are coming home
I am looking forward
to his breakfast in bed

© AngelZpublishing 2005

seducer au natural

You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it.
That's because you're a natural at seduction.
You don't realize your power!
The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism.
You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world.
Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in.
You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you?
You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways.
Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you.
As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you.


Now ain't that funny?

My time...........

Staring at the screen
hearing the clock
tick away it's seconds
minutes and hours

lay on my back
in complete darkness
hearing the clock
tick away it's seconds
minutes and hours

staring at the ceiling
see the light of the sun coming up
hearing the clock
tick away it's seconds
minutes and hours

Another night is gone
again lost of lost hours
of sleep which I will never
get back, or catch up on
hearing the clock
tick away MY seconds
minutes and hours

© AngelZpublishing 2005

Flying Solo

Had a lonely day
a lonely evening
and lookin at
a lonely night

I love to be alone
don't get me wrong
but at times
I get lonely

then I have a lonely day
a lonely evening
and lookin at
a lonely night

Loose myself in
some favorite shows
watch a movie
then some discovery
before bed some
animal planet

check tammy's blog
and website
ofcourse melissa's board
and news
then emails
and the room

then back to being
lonely
not everyday
but alot of days
lonely day
lonely evening
and looking at alonely night

© AngelZpublishing 2005

Paper Rollercoaster

The article is written
the words are there
waiting on bright
white paper
waiting to be read

words that tell our story
of how it is, and it has been
full of emotions
the rollercoaster
is riding on paper now

thousands of girls and women
are going to read our story
they going to feel our
rollercoaster
now the waiting
has start

waiting for reviews
for responses
waiting for other stories
of people in the ride
with us

I am excited
my girl is so proud
waiting for the presses
to start pressing
our love will be out there
everybody will know

the article is written
the words are there
waiting on bright
white paper
waiting to be read

© AngelZpublishing 2005

I am I am

I am so in love
with you
I am I am

I am I am
so in love
with you
I am I am

I am in love with
your smile
I am I am

I am in love with
your touch
I am I am

I am in love with
your scent
I am I am

I am in love with
your being
I am I am

I am so much
in love with you
I am I am

© AngelZpublishing 2005

Mind clouds

(I wrote this waking up out of a dream)

Time is passing fast
I see my life
flashing by on the
inside of my eyes

thinking about
what I have been
just if........

No regrets
just doubts
life is good
right now
not perfect tho

I watch the clock
breath, one deep breath
and some time gone by

things change
people change fast
I feel solid
at the base
with my love

situations change
constant
don't know what
to come, or to
expect

dreaming
I keep dreaming
and time passed by
so fricken fast

© AngelZpublishing 2005

Among friends

My eyes
search the room
for some
familiar faces
I am among friends

I find some
but miss some too
my eyes are
sparkling

even tho
I am without
my sweetheart

I can still feel her
with me,
even tho my hand
is empty

I feel her little
fingers tangled up
with mine

I feel welcome here
friends are greeting
hugging and kissing

the kindness
is almost
touchable in this
room

we don't see
eachother much
or even talk
a lot

but always
when we meet
I can feel the warmth
the kindness

almost the trust
and the band
I feel like

I am among friends

rollercoaster ride

I want to scream
but no sound is
coming from my
mouth

feel like I am back
in the rollercoaster
emotional I flip,
spin, turn, and
start over again

repressing my
happiness with
uncertainty
don't want to
be disappointed

brings me stress
my body is tired
my head is pounding
my eyes are burning

spin, flip, twist
and start all over again
feel like I am on the top
of that rollercoaster
ready to fall into
the deep

and everything in
my body is resisting
the release
holding my breath

still holding
and waiting for
the release
on the highest
point of the
rollercoaster of life

© AngelZpublishing 2005

Scary world

It's a scary world out there
Changing channels
all I see is

rape, kidnapping
murder, missing kids,
war, terror,
animal cruelty

where is the love?
people are only
talking about
what is wrong with
this world

why is nobody
talking about the
good things?
about spring coming?

about love?
about how good
and sweet people
can be?

all I hear is
about killing each other
hurt and pain
and terrorists

where is the world
going to
if nobody loves
another anymore?

is this what we want?
killing each other over
faith, religion,
color of your skin,
if your a skater, or a gothic

if your black or white
Latin or Mexican?
why don't we just love
it's so much easier
then hating and way
less time consuming

it's a scary world out there

© AngelZpublishing 2005

Mr.Sandman

Mr. Sandman
bring me a dream
make it the cutest
that I've ever seen
well not for me

3 sleeping pills further
and I am still wide awake
stuff bothering me today
didn't really had the time
to get it of my chest

keeps running around
not letting my brain rest
even a minute
got involved in such
a situation
but love is blind

and I am, I admit
she stole my heart
the moment I looked
in those amazing eyes

I don't know if Mr. Sandman
has been here yet
but the man in brain
is making overtime
and ignoring his visitor

guess this is going to be
another restless night
hopes Mr. Sandman knows
how to find me on his way
back to where ever he goes
and tries again

Mr. Sandman
bring me a dream
make it the cutest
that I've ever seen
Mr.Sandman
bring me a dream

© AngelZpublishing 2005

Without me

Cried my eyes out
last night
homesick to my baby

even staring at the stars
and wishing on the moon
isn't helping no more

her birthday
is coming up
it will go by
without me

without me being able
to pamper her
without me surprising her
at work
without me kissing her
on her birthday

I feel sad,
my heart is crying
my eyes are filled
with tears

I feel so helpless
all I want to do
is love her as she
deserves

crying my eyes
out tonight
homesick to my baby

© AngelZpublishing 2005

Pictures

Pictures are
the reminders
of a time gone by

they hold people
close and alive
for years all caught
in a moment

I love pictures
I love to make them
from all kind of things
so I can dream back
and walk memory lane

a good picture
doesn't need a comment
like the greyscaled ones
I made in Minnesota

one of the city
the buildings are high
and grey and impersonal

just an hour drive
and a road to nowhere
green fields and
one lost farm

memory lane
pictures the reminder
of a time gone by

© AngelZpublishing 2005

Don't feel

When it hurts
so bad that
you don't feel
the pain anymore

when you cried
so much that
through the tears
you can't see tears
anymore

when you screamed
so loud that
by the noise
you can't hear the
scream anymore

when it hurts
so bad that
you don't feel
the pain anymore

© AngelZpublishing 2005

a way to wake up

My body responds
and reaches out
for what is waking
me out of my very
deep sleep

my mind is trying
to wrap itself around
the sound that is
disturbing me
in this dark night

as I open one eye
which catches light
and closes itself in
an instant
I try to find
the clock
on the wall

One pm!!
while my germ sick
body responds on
that fact
my raspy morning
voice answers
the sweet angel voice
on the other side of the line

"goodmorning gorgeous"
oh baby I really don't feel
gorgeous today,
my nose looks like Rudolph
my voice sounds like
2 bottles of jack and 2 packs
of cigarettes
and my body is very aware
of every muscle in my body

"your still gorgeous" my angel says
to me that's true love
she sees me gorgeous
even I know I look Like
I've been run over by a truck
4 times

a good way to wake up.

© AngelZpublishing 2005