Happy Birthday!

today it's the birthday
of our son
10 years old
becoming a big boy

Me as a longdistance mom
feel realy far away
I've sung for him on the
phone
but missing
the cake
the movie
the midgetgolf
and the pizza

missing the look on
his face when our
birthday present is
opened
missing the expression
of being the most
important person
of the day

he is so strong
aware but not,
of the fact
that his mom
overseas
has blown out
a candle on the
top of a cupcake too...........

Happy Birthday BugMan

© AngelZpublishing 2006

feelings caught in words........

That sweet
soft spoken
angel voice
keeps me
going through
my lonely days

the moment
I pick up the phone
and hear her say
"hey sugarlips"
or one of her
other sweet names
she got for me

a fire in me
starts burning
the heavy feeling
on my shoulders
gets miracly lifted
and my heart feels
light and full of joy

that voice
makes me feel
her soft hands
on my wanting skin
her warm body
against mine
her peaceful
breathing while
she sleeps in my arms

this woman
works like magic
for me
she makes my
world brighter
my burden lighter
my rainy days
filled with sunshine

how can I catch
my love for her
in a few words
"I love you" just
don't cover it all
She is my angel...........


© AngelZpublishing 2006

Make me smile

Good to see
how some of
my friends
of which I thought
forgot about me

somehow come up
the surface
and send me
an email
and make me smile

funny to see
how some of them
just stay quiet
the ones you hope for
to let you know
your still in thoughts

and the ones
you don't expect
take you by
surprise
and make me
smile

© AngelZpublishing 2006

100!!!

This is number 100
100 times my
thoughts on paper

my feelings
my deepest
darkest thoughts

happiness and
disappointments
heart breaks and
glory moments

weird it doesn't
feel like
I am writing all
that long

but thank you
to all out there
who stay in touch
through my thoughts

© AngelZpublishing 2006

Lonely with friends

I took a long
hard look
at my so called friends

I don't see any
of them much
I have a few
that I consider
close enough

but we see
eachother
once or twice
a year

I took a long
hard look
at my life
it's lonely
very lonely

no friends
for dinner
or on a
Saturday night

no one just
swinging by
for a drink
or a hug
my life is lonely

my love is far
I know happiness
and I feel it
daily
but at the same time
sadness and pain

My baby is gone
for a week now
I had one phonecall
and one visit
for ten minutes
from "friends"

I forgot
forgot how to
keep up with friends
and share
fun and happiness
my life is lonely

the one that keeps
me going
and keeps me alive
is far away
but feels like
the only one
who really cares

© AngelZpublishing 2006

the "C" word

Another young
Dutch actress
died of cancer
today

scary how
death seems
to catch up
on us
age wise

maybe I've never
noticed
and now since I am
in my mid thirties
I am more aware
somehow

still it freaks
me out
young people
dying of cancer

I know it's got
nothing to do
with age
but I mean
mid thirties
man we're not
even half way

this actress said
"cancer isn't a cool way to die'
I would rather be attacked
by a shark and survive,
atleast I would have a cool
story to tell"

It's scary

© AngelZpublishing 2006

nowhere to be found

Outside
the seawind
is banging
against the windows

wanting
to come in
and clear my
foggy and clouded
mind

my thoughts
are wandering
around
going nowhere
to be found

glass shatters
ripping apart
the thoughts
dark, foggy and cloudy

my senses
holding on
to the light and love
and happiness

don't want to
slide down
into the dark
anymore

my body aches
and sweats
my head is pounding
when I wake

© AngelZpublishing 2006