it has been a while,
since I've blogged
but I am in a phase right now
a thinking, hurting, depressive phase
still happy in love, let's get that straight (not us)
my backpack was full, all filled up
as I call it
everything that happens to a person
is thrown into the backpack on it's back
and once in a while you need to sit down
and go through some of it in there
and give it a spot, if not you will flip over some day
that's my someday, right there!
Too much, thinking, feeling, crying, resisting,
frustration, dwelling in self pity (yes I do at times, so what)
and not enough or barely any understanding, help, hugs, or encouragement.
and then, you flip over, right on you're back
face up to the sky, and it's raining, and it keeps raining
thank god for my sunshine, (you are my sunshine, my only sunshine.........)
the past flies by, exes fly by (only the bad parts, cuz you don't want to remember the good ones)
all the pain, the sorrows and the broken hearts
all the hurts and disappointments, in parents, brothers, friends, lovers, yourself!
they all come by and add something into you're backpack
and man! I fell hard and deep!
It's time to clean up, and place it all!
so here by I say to all those who have damaged me,
hurted me, abused and used me FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU ALL!
and don't ever come knocking on my door!
cuz I am no friend, lover or anything of you anymore!
You go suck you're energy from someone else, and leave me in peace.
I make my own happiness perfectly without you bloodsuckers!
I flip the finger to all those people who used and abused me, mistreated the
goodness and naive heart.
start GIVING me something for a while, if you want to be a new friend
instead of TAKING, SUCKING, BEGGING, ASKING, NEEDING, me all the time!
It's Me, My girl, and our Son first!! In everything!
And I don't care what you think, how you feel, or what you're going through,
did you ever care for me? really loved me? just because I am me?
I don't think so, wait, I Know you don't cuz how can you abuse and mistreat
someone you love like that.
the damage hurts, it hurts bad, I don't care about the people who
did that to me anymore. But the hurt is still here and I was fighting it
resisting it, but I couldn't anymore I had to give in, it is here!
No true friends, I don't believe that anymore, they all want something,
Friends that's fine with me, just don't get too close, and don't ever tell me
true friends.
Tears are rolling down my cheeks, and I am entering a new page
a clean, white piece of paper in my life,
and a big part of that frustration will go with me, until my sunshine and me
can be together. And a piece of damaged good will come too,
that made me loving, understanding, strong and protective
that's a piece of me now.
it's true you know, you're new lover is always paying for the mistakes
of your exes. I don't want to let that happen, sometimes it just does.
I am happy with my girl, she is the love of my life,
Let the sunshine in, let the sunshine in, it's a brand new day.
my backpack feels so much right lighter now.............................
