today was hard,
it was a long lonesome day
and I stayed up late
to be with my baby,
I got cut off short
cuz she got frustrated
with life, people, and her truck.
I do understand
her frustration
but I can't sleep
because of it
I have to get up
in 6 hours again
we miss each other
all we have is the damn phone
to at least hear each others sweet voice
and even tho the day is getting closer
frustration grows.........and grows
with no one to take it out on
except each other
so what happens...........
you re happy to hear each other
and then the frustration gets out.........
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Tammy's Blog
I don't know if i can reach as many people, but it's sure worth a try, I borrowed Tammy's blog, to bring the message out further into the world. and hope for more, millions of postcards and emails.....................
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
millions de nile
breathing, i try to take in the day. the birth of a love, she is 46 today, and we've been together for over 6 years. that's a lot of breathing we've spent together, but a fraction of what is to come, i'm sure. i'm sure our bodies' rhythms are pumping in unison now, our breath, our heart rate, our hopes and dreams... we braid our lives into one palace of magic. our children fill the rooms with laughter, and reason to seek answers. their innocence gives me strength for the monsters. i can no longer live the way i used to live. i can't watch the news- that world being trashed is my children's future. when a drowning mother hands her infant off to a man in the boat, as the waters swallow her- i can't see those photos anymore. the mother is my sister, the child my child. i bleed all the way through life now. right now, i am so forlorn over the lack of consideration for human life. dancing with the stars, singing with the stars, idolizing with the stars, moving with the stars, gawking at the stars, blogging with the stars, vote for your favorite star... millions of people make a river in egypt: de nile. denial. denial has to have some sort of saving grace on my soul. denial gives me a false hope that carries me through the night while i sleep, and allows me to raise my children without needing to march anywhere or write to anyone or put a big ugly fight with the bullies of the world: the american government. fuck, i know what would happen to me if i spoke out more than i do... i'd be called a "washed-up, wannabe, muff-diving, ugly, abomination, stupid, fat, lezzbo BITCH who should go back to following MLE around like a puppy dog, and leave the big thoughts to those with balls that don't get placed in the night stand drawer."so here i am. me and my blog, and a pile of laundry and some dirty diapers, and chicken pox. and nary a postcard or a picket sign in sight. i'm still thinking about post cards. sending a shitload to somewhere, with one word on it: IMPEACH. who do we send it to? where is ken lay when you need him? if only condi would blow bush... well... there are rumors.... about the bush part, i mean. which bush, hmm...someone get me a prozac. this is so depressing. without denial, would i let the frustration of it all bubble to the top? would the sadness wash over me like watered down syrup, drowning me on my stack of flat wishes. does denial make it possible for me to get up each morning, and concentrate on what fruits and veggies my kids need to eat? does denial allow me space in my mind to save myself from more years of anxiety attacks? denial saved my ass growing up: if you don't know your mother is crazy, then you don't think "I'm raised by a crazy!" you think, "i'm raised by a colorful gal!" if i step out of my safe denial, my feelings might come up. i might get angry- and have no place to put it. (hello, sweet cindy sheehan) i might feel desperate and reach out for help- and get none (hello, conservatives). denial not only protects me from having to make a move regarding that criminal activity in the white house, but it also allows me to just be a mommy. to just let my dreams come true, let the reality of my hopes fading into truth be my point for living... granted, this world might not be here for my grandchildren... but isn't that one more reason to run away from the fact that the most powerful man in the world is an ass puppet for gold and hate mongers. ass puppet. i wish i could say that to his face. i wish i could run into him in the back room of a smokey bar. i don't know if i'd beat the shit out of him.... or knock him over the head, strip him naked, dress him up as a troop, and send him into iraq. i'm afraid, very afraid. but i'm boogeyman afraid- i don't even know what i fear. i just know i fear something. and i am mostly afraid that i fear my government.and if i step out of denial, what the hell do i do with that? if i open my eyes to find dad(bush) molesting the family(raping us of our faith, trust, patriotism), who do i go to for help? there is no mother- cheney is merely the uncle who molests the neighbor kids (WMD anyone?). do i run to get help and take the beating from the angrily quiet victims.... or do i close my eyes and go back to sleep, hoping i don't feel him this time? cuz if i don't see it, i might not feel it. and if i don't feel it, i don't have to acknowledge it's there. i don't have to accept my vulnerabilty. if i just keep denial wrapped around me, like a cashmere blanket, warm from the dryer even... i don't have to do anything different. i can just curl up with my woobie, read with blind eyes, listen with deaf ears, and don't question.... and life will be soft and safe and no one will headline my name with the word "BBBIIITTTCCCHHHHHH". why am i ready to let my life bleed dry before i am ready to put on some boots and do something?postcards. i wonder if it would do more to send the post cards to the white house or to nancy pelosi? i bet if i mailed a shitload of postcards to nancy... and the other folk who work with her... i bet there'd be something- if nothing else, at least a BLOG about the effort right? i can write a postcard. i can get a stamp. i can do this. i can buy 100 postcards, i can buy 100 stamps. i can mail one postcard a week, or one a day.... i can send them, tell my friends to send them, tell anyone to send them... millions.... a deluge of IMPEACH IMPEACH IMPEACHi think nancy would listen. i do. i just looked up her contact info, and i'm going to use it. i think i'll email her and send postcards. emailing is quick, and cheap. postcards scream "I'm not effing kidding here". so i'll do both. on the postcard, i shall write only "IMPEACH"... and in my emails, the subject will read "IMPEACH" and inside it shall only read, "BUSH". i hope she understands these two go together... not that i want to impeach someone, AND make everyone a lezbo, but rather, "IMPEACH BUSH" is the entirety of the message. i can't sit around slack-jawed at the incest and rape happening to our souls anymore, or i will need to start taking partial credit as to why our state is in such disarray. right? postcards and emails. i might be the only one doing it, but dammit... one by one is better than none by none. hm... if my 1000 "impeach" postcards and emails get him out of office... well, rootbeer floats all around!let's just see what happens. i'm going to believe this will work. believe it, know it, is is.
DC Address: The Honorable Nancy Pelosi
United States House of Representatives235
Cannon House Office BuildingWashington,
D.C. 20515-0508
Email Address: sf.nancy@mail.house.gov
impeach impeach impeach impeach impeach
impeach
go go go go go go
go sisters go brothers
go go go go go go go !!!!!!!!!
right?
posted by Tammy, midwestern girl 29.5.07
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
millions de nile
breathing, i try to take in the day. the birth of a love, she is 46 today, and we've been together for over 6 years. that's a lot of breathing we've spent together, but a fraction of what is to come, i'm sure. i'm sure our bodies' rhythms are pumping in unison now, our breath, our heart rate, our hopes and dreams... we braid our lives into one palace of magic. our children fill the rooms with laughter, and reason to seek answers. their innocence gives me strength for the monsters. i can no longer live the way i used to live. i can't watch the news- that world being trashed is my children's future. when a drowning mother hands her infant off to a man in the boat, as the waters swallow her- i can't see those photos anymore. the mother is my sister, the child my child. i bleed all the way through life now. right now, i am so forlorn over the lack of consideration for human life. dancing with the stars, singing with the stars, idolizing with the stars, moving with the stars, gawking at the stars, blogging with the stars, vote for your favorite star... millions of people make a river in egypt: de nile. denial. denial has to have some sort of saving grace on my soul. denial gives me a false hope that carries me through the night while i sleep, and allows me to raise my children without needing to march anywhere or write to anyone or put a big ugly fight with the bullies of the world: the american government. fuck, i know what would happen to me if i spoke out more than i do... i'd be called a "washed-up, wannabe, muff-diving, ugly, abomination, stupid, fat, lezzbo BITCH who should go back to following MLE around like a puppy dog, and leave the big thoughts to those with balls that don't get placed in the night stand drawer."so here i am. me and my blog, and a pile of laundry and some dirty diapers, and chicken pox. and nary a postcard or a picket sign in sight. i'm still thinking about post cards. sending a shitload to somewhere, with one word on it: IMPEACH. who do we send it to? where is ken lay when you need him? if only condi would blow bush... well... there are rumors.... about the bush part, i mean. which bush, hmm...someone get me a prozac. this is so depressing. without denial, would i let the frustration of it all bubble to the top? would the sadness wash over me like watered down syrup, drowning me on my stack of flat wishes. does denial make it possible for me to get up each morning, and concentrate on what fruits and veggies my kids need to eat? does denial allow me space in my mind to save myself from more years of anxiety attacks? denial saved my ass growing up: if you don't know your mother is crazy, then you don't think "I'm raised by a crazy!" you think, "i'm raised by a colorful gal!" if i step out of my safe denial, my feelings might come up. i might get angry- and have no place to put it. (hello, sweet cindy sheehan) i might feel desperate and reach out for help- and get none (hello, conservatives). denial not only protects me from having to make a move regarding that criminal activity in the white house, but it also allows me to just be a mommy. to just let my dreams come true, let the reality of my hopes fading into truth be my point for living... granted, this world might not be here for my grandchildren... but isn't that one more reason to run away from the fact that the most powerful man in the world is an ass puppet for gold and hate mongers. ass puppet. i wish i could say that to his face. i wish i could run into him in the back room of a smokey bar. i don't know if i'd beat the shit out of him.... or knock him over the head, strip him naked, dress him up as a troop, and send him into iraq. i'm afraid, very afraid. but i'm boogeyman afraid- i don't even know what i fear. i just know i fear something. and i am mostly afraid that i fear my government.and if i step out of denial, what the hell do i do with that? if i open my eyes to find dad(bush) molesting the family(raping us of our faith, trust, patriotism), who do i go to for help? there is no mother- cheney is merely the uncle who molests the neighbor kids (WMD anyone?). do i run to get help and take the beating from the angrily quiet victims.... or do i close my eyes and go back to sleep, hoping i don't feel him this time? cuz if i don't see it, i might not feel it. and if i don't feel it, i don't have to acknowledge it's there. i don't have to accept my vulnerabilty. if i just keep denial wrapped around me, like a cashmere blanket, warm from the dryer even... i don't have to do anything different. i can just curl up with my woobie, read with blind eyes, listen with deaf ears, and don't question.... and life will be soft and safe and no one will headline my name with the word "BBBIIITTTCCCHHHHHH". why am i ready to let my life bleed dry before i am ready to put on some boots and do something?postcards. i wonder if it would do more to send the post cards to the white house or to nancy pelosi? i bet if i mailed a shitload of postcards to nancy... and the other folk who work with her... i bet there'd be something- if nothing else, at least a BLOG about the effort right? i can write a postcard. i can get a stamp. i can do this. i can buy 100 postcards, i can buy 100 stamps. i can mail one postcard a week, or one a day.... i can send them, tell my friends to send them, tell anyone to send them... millions.... a deluge of IMPEACH IMPEACH IMPEACHi think nancy would listen. i do. i just looked up her contact info, and i'm going to use it. i think i'll email her and send postcards. emailing is quick, and cheap. postcards scream "I'm not effing kidding here". so i'll do both. on the postcard, i shall write only "IMPEACH"... and in my emails, the subject will read "IMPEACH" and inside it shall only read, "BUSH". i hope she understands these two go together... not that i want to impeach someone, AND make everyone a lezbo, but rather, "IMPEACH BUSH" is the entirety of the message. i can't sit around slack-jawed at the incest and rape happening to our souls anymore, or i will need to start taking partial credit as to why our state is in such disarray. right? postcards and emails. i might be the only one doing it, but dammit... one by one is better than none by none. hm... if my 1000 "impeach" postcards and emails get him out of office... well, rootbeer floats all around!let's just see what happens. i'm going to believe this will work. believe it, know it, is is.
DC Address: The Honorable Nancy Pelosi
United States House of Representatives235
Cannon House Office BuildingWashington,
D.C. 20515-0508
Email Address: sf.nancy@mail.house.gov
impeach impeach impeach impeach impeach
impeach
go go go go go go
go sisters go brothers
go go go go go go go !!!!!!!!!
right?
posted by Tammy, midwestern girl 29.5.07
Sunday, May 06, 2007
May month of hope..........
Finally its May,
May is the month of
green cards and hope.
of festivals and parties
but most of all
keeping my eye
on my mailbox
to see if the USA
government wants me
to be a citizen of a visitor.
did I pass??
can I start the rest of my life?
every day I come home
my heart dropped
scared to check the mailbox
scared of IT not being there
every day finding hope
I don't care where I live
I just want to be with her!
be happy and loved
protect her, talk to her
and help her, live with her
now at times i feel lost
and losing
confused, and lonely
misunderstood and alienated
not home in this country
not home in that country yet......
my heart is over there
my body is over here
restless...........
May is the month of
green cards and hope.
of festivals and parties
but most of all
keeping my eye
on my mailbox
to see if the USA
government wants me
to be a citizen of a visitor.
did I pass??
can I start the rest of my life?
every day I come home
my heart dropped
scared to check the mailbox
scared of IT not being there
every day finding hope
I don't care where I live
I just want to be with her!
be happy and loved
protect her, talk to her
and help her, live with her
now at times i feel lost
and losing
confused, and lonely
misunderstood and alienated
not home in this country
not home in that country yet......
my heart is over there
my body is over here
restless...........
loved but lonely
changing, lots of changes
it feels weird,
close but apart
scaring me,
hurting me
trying to keep faith
holding on to love
missing, lonely, counting days
drifting, confused, scared,
loved but lonely
it feels weird,
close but apart
scaring me,
hurting me
trying to keep faith
holding on to love
missing, lonely, counting days
drifting, confused, scared,
loved but lonely
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