Wednesday at work, yesterday i went through a little personal hell, i got my nail extracted from my toe, without anesthetic OMG! talking about pain!!!! so i got my foot up today, at work got picked up by my boss from home, very spoiled!
last couple of months not much happend it's same old same old, war, love, seperation from the one I love, work. I thought my life would look different by now.
its time to reflect my life i guess, now i've turned 40 (no it didn't hurt, but stings) for some reason, you see things in a different setting.
I never really set a goal for myself, and now i feel im missing a goal, although i have one big one that all my focus goes to. (getting home to USA)
The Missing, is worse, more painful more sad and more consuming... feels like everyone is soaked with my misery, so u get no feedback any more except, "you will get there no worries"very understandable, but not helping. Sometimes you just want to scream!!! and you want some decent feedback and answers! but im babbling again, and staring off to lala land its time to get back to work, im in a writing mood today so probably more later.....
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Monday, May 11, 2009
a long long time ago...
Man, it has been a while.
so long that i had to look up my username
including the paswords...I'm so spoiled sitting here
with my brandnew 2009 wireless laptop...never been this spoiled
in my life! but happy! man im so happy!It's weird how i realize at times
that I'm raised really dutch, down to earth and working hard for stuff.
be happy with a hand me down aslong as it works you shouldn't be complaining.
But oh boy, I'm happy as a little kid on christmas morning and I'm enjoying it!
Lots of stuff happened on the other hand nothing really changed..
Im still completely in love..she spoils me rotten...but still too far away and still I want to go home.
Obama is bringing the change.. I can feel it.. I think he is going to bring me home! and not because I'm anything or anyone special but ya know, I, we deserve it! almost five years were proving our love to who it needs to be proven to. It's not hard work to love each other, it's hard work to be so far away from each other. It's asking a lot of energy, love and determination to keep hanging on, believing, loving, screaming, crying and Loving to believe and feel this love is the one! My sugar is!! we're keeping hope, there is no other option!
Ya know what? it feels good to write again, it brings me peace, and as always my fingers just go without thinking. without stopping, my fingers put in words what my mind is thinking its funny how im watching dutch tv while my mind and my fingers connect in English. Could I be using a bigger percentage of my brain, cuz i can do both languages at the same time? lol i wish there was a test to try it out.
Well after sitting here a while and typing i don't want this to become to long, but I'm going to be back tomorrow for sure cuz this feels good.
and it was a long long time ago when i started this blog...let's keep it going!
I love you sugar! ;-)
so long that i had to look up my username
including the paswords...I'm so spoiled sitting here
with my brandnew 2009 wireless laptop...never been this spoiled
in my life! but happy! man im so happy!It's weird how i realize at times
that I'm raised really dutch, down to earth and working hard for stuff.
be happy with a hand me down aslong as it works you shouldn't be complaining.
But oh boy, I'm happy as a little kid on christmas morning and I'm enjoying it!
Lots of stuff happened on the other hand nothing really changed..
Im still completely in love..she spoils me rotten...but still too far away and still I want to go home.
Obama is bringing the change.. I can feel it.. I think he is going to bring me home! and not because I'm anything or anyone special but ya know, I, we deserve it! almost five years were proving our love to who it needs to be proven to. It's not hard work to love each other, it's hard work to be so far away from each other. It's asking a lot of energy, love and determination to keep hanging on, believing, loving, screaming, crying and Loving to believe and feel this love is the one! My sugar is!! we're keeping hope, there is no other option!
Ya know what? it feels good to write again, it brings me peace, and as always my fingers just go without thinking. without stopping, my fingers put in words what my mind is thinking its funny how im watching dutch tv while my mind and my fingers connect in English. Could I be using a bigger percentage of my brain, cuz i can do both languages at the same time? lol i wish there was a test to try it out.
Well after sitting here a while and typing i don't want this to become to long, but I'm going to be back tomorrow for sure cuz this feels good.
and it was a long long time ago when i started this blog...let's keep it going!
I love you sugar! ;-)
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
new old blog.....
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Lucky
it flew by3 weeks of passionlove, fun, laughter
safety,confidence friendship, motherhood
tickle fights, passionate nightsgiggles,
looks and LOVE
Love with a capital L
Oh my god, I am so completely in
LLLLLLLLLL
OOOOOOOOOO
VVVVVVVVVVVV
EEEEEEEEEEEEEE
with this womanshe is my world,
I know there are other couples
who probably feel this connection
for me it's the first time
she really makes my heart jump of Joy
like I NEVER felt before.
still feel the same way..............years later.......... :-)
Lucky
it flew by3 weeks of passionlove, fun, laughter
safety,confidence friendship, motherhood
tickle fights, passionate nightsgiggles,
looks and LOVE
Love with a capital L
Oh my god, I am so completely in
LLLLLLLLLL
OOOOOOOOOO
VVVVVVVVVVVV
EEEEEEEEEEEEEE
with this womanshe is my world,
I know there are other couples
who probably feel this connection
for me it's the first time
she really makes my heart jump of Joy
like I NEVER felt before.
still feel the same way..............years later.......... :-)
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