The circle

the awareness of
getting out of the
lonely circle is
very on my mind
these days

I got invited by
friends, friends I
don't see daily and
live a few hours away
Invited to celebrate
the gay weekend
with them

I want to break out
of this lonely circle
of loneliness
but don't want
to feel alone
among thousands
of lesbians

the fear of the
evening ending
the music turning to
slow dance
couples finding
eachother
and me feeling
like a left over
from a good meal

so I want to go
but I don't want to
go without my girl
my pride and joy
the angel of my life
but I have to
If I go
I want to break
this lonely circle
but I am afraid
of feeling lonely

© AngelZpublishing 2006

The circle

the awareness of
getting out of the
lonely circle is
very on my mind
these days

I got invited by
friends, friends I
don't see daily and
live a few hours away
Invited to celebrate
the gay weekend
with them

I want to break out
of this lonely circle
of loneliness
but don't want
to feel alone
among thousands
of lesbians

the fear of the
evening ending
the music turning to
slow dance
couples finding
eachother
and me feeling
like a left over
from a good meal

so I want to go
but I don't want to
go without my girl
my pride and joy
the angel of my life
but I have to
If I go
I want to break
this lonely circle
but I am afraid
of feeling lonely

© AngelZpublishing 2006

A tight grip

The missing eachother
is catching up on us
grumpy and moody
snapping at eachother
cuz we miss eachother
so much

my jealousy is
peeking out
and sometimes
reaching out with
head and shoulders
pushing me down
on the floor so
I loose control
then my jealousy
runs off with me

my angel
is putting up with that
It just worries me
that someday
will be the last day
from her patience
and jealousy will
win that fight.....

Still I know
that the love
reaches high above
our shoulders
is holding us
in a strong and
comfortable grip
when sometimes
that grip is so tight
it's hard to breath
I like it that way
makes me perfectly happy

until jealousy is
heading out again
have two of those days
behind me
hope jealousy is tired
and wants to rest for
a while........So we can
cuddle in love's
tight breathless grip.

© AngelZpublishing 2006

Letter to my past.

I finally did it
I've sent a letter
to my past
to close things
former relationship
was already closed
but somewhere
deep down

not everything was said yet

amazing how good
it feels to write
I have been a writer
ever since I could write
and the words on paper
give me so much comfort
peace, and piece of mind

so did this
I have an amazing woman
cuz I can share my past
with her
I've read her the letter
and she said "cool"
like she always does
that's what I so love about her

It's funny how she
made me realize
that indeed we don't
live in the past
but we can't enter
the present aslong
we don't leave the past

I live my life with my honey
and I life in the future, the present,
and I believe part of the past
makes who you are in the present
some of the past needed closure
I got that today
I wrote a letter to my past
so I can step into the present
and dream about the future

© AngelZpublishing 2006

The LION in me.......

the lion in me
is so restless

lazy and sleepy
during the warm
summer day
with hardly any shade

but when the sun sets
and the heat turns into
a warm summernight
as a Lion I get active

I want to stretch my
rested body and roar
yawn as waking up
and discover the world
around me in the fading daylight

Human as I am, the Lion in me
got trouble sleepin
during the night, and trouble
to stay focused during the day
the summer always triggers
the Lion in me
I feel the fire, smell the wild

I guess I am born under the right sign
The Lion is yawning, stretching and awake
ready for the hunt, ready for the night..........

© AngelZpublishing 2006

Breath

Two hands
choking me
pushing down on
my throat
that's how
loneliness feels

for the ones that
don't know
it's scary
it can consume you

I am trying to
fight the silence
and the pain
in my head and heart

the house is silence
no one to take care off
no one to be silly with

It cuts like
a hot knife
through buttercake

choking fighting
trying to breath
living from one
phonecall to the next

she loves me
she makes me breath
when slowly
the dark blanket
covers me again

and I gasp for air..........

© AngelZpublishing 2006