I am fine, I am Loved

I realized today how I have mentally grown
I am fine, I am loved!
the last couple of years,
one of my fears was to be alone,
not alone at the house, but alone in love,
alone in doing stuff.

Mother nature fixed that, she made me fall
in love with my Angel who is 5000 miles away from me
I am alone when I come out of work
A loving sweet purring kitty is rubbing my leg
for attention, food and love.

I go to bed alone,
waiting in the dark,
staring and thinking
till the phone rings
and my Angels sweet voice
brings light in a blinded room.

I wake up alone,
with a long slender furry body,
purring next to me
who is squeezing his eyes,
and yawning when I turn on the light and my radio warns me its time to get up
disappointed that I disturb his comfort
I stretch and reach into my nightstand drawer
to get out my cellphone,
a message from my Angel,
every morning,
to wake up with a smile.

I shower alone,
let the warm water run my body
close my eyes and imagine,
that the warmth I feel
are the sweet little soft hands of my baby

I make breakfast and lunch to go,
feed my kitties,
get a grateful head bump
as my thank you kiss and leave for work alone
I'm physical alone, although I have my kitties,
but my biggest fear, my real demon, I defeated
I am not alone, I am not an Island
I am fine, I am loved

Morning headache, lawfully be wed..........

Hoping praying,
I got a good feeling about this
the Lottery stuff it was time for it again
to take a chance to get a green card
so I can stay with the one I love

I want it to be time
to leave the morning headaches behind
and wake with a soft warm hand on my skin
to wake up and see the amazing clear bright blue eyes of my angel,
instead of the dead brown ones of my stuffed animal

to kiss the morning a warm welcome even when it's freezing outside.
to feel her warm little feet snuggling in between mine
It's time to convince the government of our love
and that we want to be lawfully wedded
And spent the rest of our lives together

and have all the little joys that seems to be so normal
for people who are together but so special for the ones
that can't be together yet. I say YET course I can't give up
the hope!
My heart is with her, my brain is with her,
my dreams are with her.
it's time for the morning headaches to be gone............

Bring it on................

When you try to start a new
it's like past tries to catch up on you.
My angel and me, we both started second jobs
to come by easier and already kinda build on our
future together even still a part.

Even tho, i defeated all my demons in the past
some, for whatever reason, finds it amusing to
pop up once in a while. My biggest demon found me
after 3 years of silence, to notice I have changed.

another demon, so called friend from UK, i confronted with her actions,
in a place I use to go. Some people weren't charmed of the way
how I confronted her with her lies, but I got it out, and sent her
some demons to live with. Not my worry any more.
felt mistreated and I fixed it its now done and over with.

It feels so good, being so sure in life, feeling secure in love,
making me a stronger woman, and fearless to face my demons
if they decide to hunt me down, all I can say, is show me what you got!
and bring it on. course the love of my Angel makes me brave,
the sun in my heart makes me strong, and our love makes me fearless
this Leo is roarrrrrrrrrrrrring again.............................